It's been pretty much 2 months to the day now that I have been unemployed and searching for a job. Unfortunately, my luck hasn't really been there in terms of finding a job, but I'm still optimistic that something I like will come up.

Anyway, a few months ago (before I even left Givex) I applied to be a border guard with the Canadian Border Services Agency. Now, yesterday I received an email from them saying that I passed the pre-screening and that they would like me to come in to write the test. The only catch... It's in Richmond, BC. :(

This put me into a bit of dilemma 'cause it's actually a job that I would really like to do. It's kind of like one under my army network ops dreamjob of which we all know why I can't do it. GRRR. Anyway, my dilemma is that I don't really want to move back to Vancouver yet. I am having a great time here in Toronto, and I don't think that I could go back to my boring life back there. I've pretty much made my final decision that I'm going to stay here in Toronto, but I do still have until July 29 to make my final decision. It's going to keep haunting me at the back of my head until that time passes.

All I can hope for is that I find a good job before then so that I don't regret not going. I guess that I could always just reapply again (after 180 days) for a CBSA position here in Toronto.

It's funny... I feel like I'm too small to handle a gun and interrogate people, but I think that I'd love the job.

Blah

Back when I was much younger, I used to be the shyest kid ever. I couldn't go to McDonald's and order food, I couldn't go to the library and borrow books without worrying about what people would think of me because of what I was borrowing, and I definitely was pretty crippled when it came to social situations.

Things changed a bit when I got older and puberty came and went. I was no longer shy about everyday situations, but I was still shy about talking to people that I was interested in, and when meeting new people.

Now, I have asked all the new people that I've met if they would consider me as shy and the answer I seem to get from people is "You're not shy! You're so outgoing!" That totally intrigued me 'cause I would still consider myself shy to a certain degree. I guess that I just open up much quicker than I used to. I dunno... I'm not complaining of course, it isn't good to be shy, but I am surprised by how much I've changed and transformed into a social butterfly.

I am still shy when it comes to talking to someone I'm interested in for the first time though. But once I'm past that hurdle, apparently I open up quickly. One more barrier to bust through during my quest to improve myself.

I'll give myself until next year to see if I can break that barrier down.

The following link is a pretty good article that Ryan forwarded to me regarding shyness:
http://thinksimplenow.com/happiness/20-ways-to-attack-shyness/

Wow. I totally just realized that I've had my blog for over 5 years now; with my first entries starting in July 2003.

I've been reading through them, and I feel like I've matured quite a bit since then. I can't believe the things that I used to do, and actually write on here. It's all so incriminating! At the same time, though, it's perfect 'cause it reminds me of how I was, and how never to be again.

Reading through it, I can totally see why I was single. I seemed like a sex-crazed, drug using, horndog.

I guess that it really is possible to shock yourself.

OK OK... I know... It's been a year and a day since I last wrote in my blog.

I've been pretty indecisive since I left Givex. I have considered leaving the IT field and going back to school, taking courses in IT to improve my skills, going back to school and taking a completely different program, and also moving to Japan for a year to teach English. Right now, I am leaning towards the latter rather than the other options. Just 'cause it will allow me to travel, learn Japanese, and make money!

The cause of most of this indecision, however, is my seeming inability to get a job due to lack of experience. I feel like I'm stuck in a loop where I can't get a job without experience, and can't get experience without a job. The only jobs I appear to be qualified for are helpdesk positions; and we all know how great those are. :| I even tried going through Career Edge to get an internship position, but they have pretty high requirements too and some even ask for previous work experience!

One thing is for sure though, save for moving to Japan, I would like to stay here in Toronto. Moving to Vancouver would not really be an option yet at this point.

Now, with all this indecision about what I want to do in the future, and my proximity to turning 26, most people would probably start freaking out about their age. But you know what, I actually feel better now than I ever have in my life. Now that I'm older, I feel like I know what I want in life and how to get it. I have reached the point where I am happy with myself, and now it is time to start looking for the job and love of my life. As well, I am looking forward to my 26th birthday in October! It's gonna be a good one! =)

* *

So other than looking for jobs, you're probably wondering what Good 'ol Seanster has been up to in the past 2 months.

At the end of May, my brother, JJ, and I went to Switzerland and Germany for just over a week. Our trip took us through Zurich, Grindelwald, the Lichtenstein border, Austria, Schwangau (D), Munich, Frankfurt, Cologne, and then all the way back to Zurich. We did all of this by car, except for my short side trip to Cologne. My favourite places were still Grindelwald, Cologne, and Zurich. Grindelwald... How can you not like it!? It's in the Alps! Cologne was a nice, young city with a lot happening. And Zurich... Well Zurich had some of the hottest guys I have ever seen! Oh and the old part of the city was pretty nice too. Hehe

I definitely would like to go back to Germany and Switzerland again on one of my future European trips.

Since then, I went camping at the end of June at the Lake of Two Rivers in Algonquin Park. I had a blast, and I wanna go canoeing again sometime this summer. Definitely all about the canoeing.

Later in June, there was Toronto Pride which was definitely one of the best Pride's I've ever had. I've never really been a big fan of going, and I usually skip it and go to Vancouver, but this year was just awesome! I am sure that it's because of the circle of friends that I now hold.

Other than that, there hasn't been any big events. But the summer is still young, and there are plenty more adventures to be had.

So yeah... I guess I haven't written in this blog in about a year and day.

Things have been kinda up and down with me lately. My job has been pretty much getting me depressed all the time from the hours that I work, and from the stupid people that call in and make you feel like a piece of shit. I gave my two weeks notice at the end of April, and I felt so glad to be out. The next day, however, I was made an offer to stay. I took it, as it's a step up, but I still haven't signed anything saying that I will be getting that offer. AND, it doesn't even take effect until August. Shady... But we'll see what happens. Je souhaite que je vais trouver un nouveau travail jusqu'a Aout.

On a happier note, went to see Hairspray with my mom on Friday. That was pretty awesome! I don't know why I never watched it before?! It's one of those plays that just makes you feel good inside after watching it. I downloaded the movie after, it's still good, but not the same. They changed the story a bit and it's definitely been cut down from its 2.5 hour running time to 1.5.

Sitting here at work at 6.30 in the morning, all by myself, sucks... Meh. Back to bed (resting my head on my desk).

Usually people sandwich the bad with the good on the outside, but it looks like I opened with the bad and ended with the bad... Oh how I hate my job... :(

Video Logs are back!!!

They can be viewed by clicking on the "Video Gallery" link from the homepage, or by clicking here.

Ice, snow, freezing rain... 4 years here in Toronto without a snowstorm, and this year that I'm back there have been 3 already and the winter isn't over yet! Crazyness!

Snowstorm - Wednesday, February 6, 2008:
















Crazy Icy sidewalks! - Monday, February 11, 2008:







Icy Spadina Bridge!

I got free tickets from work to go to the Toronto Marlies vs. Hamilton Bulldogs hockey game last night. It wasn't quite what I was expecting. The game was definitely more fun to watch than baseball or football, but it got kind of dull at times. I dunno if it was because it was an American Hockey League game rather than NHL, but it wasn't too great. Maybe it's just my lack of interest in sports as well. Who knows. =P

The atmosphere at the Rich Coliseum was so full of testosterone as well. It felt even more straight than the Calgary stampede. It was all macho guys trying to show their masculinity. I guess that that's the world of sports, but wow. Definitely felt out of place there. It wasn't anything that a nice overpriced beer couldn't correct however. LOL

If you're wondering, the Marlies beat the Buldogs 3 - 0.

Yeah... I know... 2 months since my last update. What can I say? I've been busy. =P

Things have pretty much been the same. Still working on getting new stuff to fill my empty, echoey apartment. I hope to get my couch sometime near the end of this month. Woot! Which one am I getting... I still don't know. The search for new friends continues and is going well, and my attempt to save some extra cash to pay off my loans is going well as well.

In a completely different note, I discovered that I may not be a "goofy" snowboarder after all! I actually can snowboard better when I go left foot first! I guess that the ultimate test will be in Montreal when I will be left forward almost the entire time. We'll see how that goes! =)

I've never really held a BIG party before. Pretty much I've only invited a few people over and hung out. Last night, I finally held my first housewarming party. I was unsure as to how it was going to go, but it turned out to be a big success with 17 people all in the room at one time!

It was also nice to see Ivan again who was visiting Toronto from Ireland.

I can't wait to hold another party, hopefully for New Years.


Danny, Jenn, Me, Ed, Ann, Eugene


Elina, Vic, Ryan


Jenn, Ed, Eugene, Tom, Alden


Danny & Ivan


David, Miguel, Me


Alden, Tom, James, Louie